Article #8: The Human Need for Intimacy

by Wes Penre, January 1, 2020

In the beginning, “God” created man and woman. He made man physically stronger than the female counterpart. The man became the hunter and the protector of the family, while the woman became submissive to the man. The man made the major decisions for her and the family, and his word was to be followed.

The man became the King of the household–yes, KING. Remember, created construct based on a patriarchal structure, where the woman should be “inferior” to the man. This was suppressing the Divine Feminine inside us all.

This has followed us up through the generations all the way into the 1970’s, when there was a Women’s Liberation movement. That movement was intentionally orchestrated by the Rockefellers (who have admitted to that) to confuse the sexes, so no one knew their place in the family anymore. It destroyed the family unit and created confusion and trauma in both sexes, as well as additional separation.

Up to this day, because of our genetic programming, many women still feel they need a man who is assertive, outgoing, protective, and a decision maker to feel safe. If the man can’t live up to this, she feels insecure and unsafe, and it can even split up a relationship.

Remember that this is a construct created by a patriarch– What does this strict role play create in a society, and for the sake of this article, a relationship? The following might be controversial and stir up a lot of emotions, but it needs to be discussed, in my opinion.

Does the male/female role play create unique safety and security for the woman–or even the man–in the first place? We are all feminine in essence, and whether we are men or women, we have both these driving forces inside us. By putting men and women in a box and not letting their polarity play an equal role in both sexes, we suppress our spiritual development, and it creates separation–not unity. This was done on purpose. The archetypal gender roles were set up to create separation and competition between people–not unity.

In a traditional relationship, going back to the “caveman,” so to speak, where the gender roles are clearly defined by rules, will the woman really feel safe and secure? Yes, on the surface. What if the man loses his job? What if he stops loving her and leaves her, then what is she going to do? She needs another man to fill that spot to feel secure, or she needs to develop her masculine traits and become more in tune with her masculine side, suppressed and buried inside her, in order to survive. But isn’t that the way it should have been to begin with? Shouldn’t both gender have developed both masculine and feminine traits, so they, if necessary, automatically know how to feel safe and secure on their own and with each other, and use these energies interchangeably when a particular situation requires it?

If so, how do we break this pattern, and how can both men and women feel safe and secure in their relationships, friendships, and in life in general? The answer is through TRUE intimacy!

What does intimacy entail? Of course, important are body contact (hugs, kisses, and physical touch and closeness), and for most people–sex. But the MOST important ingredient in intimacy is the ability to show VULNERABILITY. Because we humans are so wounded–no one is an exception from being emotionally wounded to some degree–we have a difficult time being authentic. We are very reluctant to sharing our true emotions. When we were children, many of us were taught that our emotions, needs, desires, and opinions did not count, unless they coincided with the parent’s. This is detrimental to a child, and the trauma resulting fro this will follow and affect them through life. People become very afraid of emotions, and when someone expresses them, others push them away or ridicule them because they themselves don’t know how to deal with someone who is authentic or how to deal with their own suppressed emotions. This is particularly surfacing in love relationships, and it needs to be healed for a person to feel true joy and happiness.

One of the first things a couple might want to do when they get together is to express their needs and desires to the other one. Then, they both do what they can to fulfill these needs within themselves and in the other person. As a result, we’ll see the other person get very happy, and that makes us happy. We can NOT do this without simultaneously heal our inner child—the two go hand in hand.

When both parties in the relationship have started to trust their counterpart with their emotions and vulnerabilities, something extraordinary happens. The two will incrementally become extremely close to each other. They will know each other in and out, and what does that create? It creates GENUINE safety and security in BOTH parties, and the problem is solved to a very large degree. Both will heal many of their emotional wounds by being vulnerable with each other; knowing that whatever they tell the other person, it will be well received, regardless of what it is. What makes us not being able to express our emotions is the fact that we were not allowed to as children. So, we suffered and shut off our emotions and authenticity as a coping mechanism. Therefore, daring to be intimate with a friend of partner heals the inner child.

Have you ever experienced in a friendship or love relationship that when your partner is being vulnerable and tells you stuff you didn’t know about him or her that you feel an additional connection with that person and you actually feel that you love him or her even more? We are aware that often it can be triggering to listen to our loved one being vulnerable, as well as being vulnerable to others, but when we manage to keep the subconscious mind in check, we can feel this extra connection, and it’s healing for both parties, because our wounds are not so dissimilar after all.

We could ask ourselves why we love artists who express vulnerability in their lyrics and/or music. It’s because they are doing what we want to do and have a partner to do, but we dare not. We recognize our suppressed vulnerability in the artists, and we love them.

Being intimately connected with someone else, whether it’s in a love relationship or in a friendship makes both parties not twice as strong and secure, but exponentially so. In such a relationship, where both parties are healing by interacting with each other on a deep, authentic, emotional level, they get their needs fulfilled, they heal their childhood wounds, and they become stronger, more assertive, and much more secure within themselves. They are no longer dependent on each other for their emotional and physical well-being. As they support and strengthen each other, they both become stronger. It’s a win-win situation, compared to the separation that occurs in a programmed, traditional relationship that does not lead to true connection and intimacy. Such a relationship only suppresses our fears, at best, but is counter-productive. It can be a long and painful process to open up to somebody, but the reward long-term is worth going through the pain.

Narcissistic relationships work, in the sense that the wounded codependent does not need to be vulnerable and intimate. The narc is not interested in that–only a false intimacy when it satisfies a hidden agenda. Therefore, the codependent doesn’t need to face their shadow side. Yes, the codependent gets even more wounded and triggered, but many choose that before having to face their painful emotions/shadow side.

When we were the Namlu’u on Tiamaat, we were androgynous, so there were no genders, as we know genders. Each Namlu’u had both masculine and feminine traits, and gender-wise, they could be both and either or.

In Orion, not every star race is androgynous–it seems more common that they are not. I was told that in Orion they have genders, and the female is the creator of ideas, and the male executes them.

We, on the other hand, who were androgynous, (and I think this goes for our soul energy, as well–not only the Namlu’u bodies) still feel that we have both feminine and masculine energies inside, whether we are males or females. We are essentially androgynous, even on a soul level. separated us into two genders, which seems to be the most common standard in the KHAA, but because we are different and androgynous inside, we have, ever since separated the sexes, been trying to merge with the other aspect of us to become androgynous again. This could be why we humans have such a need for intimacy.

True intimacy is something the Overlords do not want us to successfully achieve because that would heal our childhood wounds, and we would be much too powerful for them.

Remember, the most courageous thing you can do in this 3-D life is to dare to be authentic and vulnerable because it has everything to do with overcoming our fears, which is the root to all abusive and dysfunctional behavior.

Support us on Patreon or on PayPal!


  1. Well written and important topic. This is probably too much information but here goes anyway. Unfortunately I have never had that type of relationship in my life. I never had the wedding/marriage or kids and family life of my own. The relationships I have had are good in the beginning only, until the man knows your heart is with him, then things change. I can be too giving and kind and have been taken advantage of in that respect. The longest relationship I’ve had was only 1 year long! I don’t want to sound cliche but I really do have a hard time trusting because of my past experiences and now I just simply choose to be single. I do miss some aspects of course and wonder why my life is this way and I think that sort of also led me down this path of discovery…

    1. Dear Dreamer! Thank you for this heart-felt and honest comment. I think many, many people can relate to what you just wrote–even more so in the “spiritual field.” Like you wrote, I’ve noticed that most people started looking into these things because of the abuse and disappointments they have experience…they think there must be something more than pain and suffering. And here we are LOL…I am no exception!

      There is definitely nothing wrong with you, Dreamer. Everybody on this planet has had a rough childhood to various degree–even non-narcissistic parents can be neglectful and treat their children abusively in different ways. The child has no other option than to create a coping mechanism, which then follows them throughout their lives, unless they, at one point or another, start healing. Often, it is the physical part of a relationship that is scary for those who’ve been abuse, because the abuse has happened in a face-to-face situation, so any relationship after that reactively reminds us of that first relationship with our parents. On some occasion, the abuse can start by peers in the adolescence, and that, too, can have devastating consequences.

      Everybody on this planet is afraid of intimacy to various degrees because of previous experiences. It’s a trust issue, just like you’re saying.

    2. I had somewhat similar journey to yours. A few years ago, I recognized patterns in my life and I put a pause on relationships. At the same time it also happened that I started my own spiritual journey. To be honest, these past years were the most peaceful and I couldn’t come so far in my esoteric research and spiritual growth with a partner at my side. Just like you. I needed that time for myself. I didn’t miss any aspects of the relationship however and never felt lonely. I learned to meditate, read a lot, learned a lot. I’ve done much healing, emotional and physical. A few years in my journey, I had an encounter, that was more like an alien love bite. The strangest experience I’ve ever had and I don’t wish it on anyone. Whatever happened, it did two things. I realized I needed more healing and I also learned about the construct more. Today, with what I know and what I’ve become, I couldn’t even have a coffee with those people once I was close to. They are not bad people but our consciousness is night and day.

  2. thanks for this great post. maybe I’m wrong, but most women in western society today despise a man who shows his weaknesses and feelings. most people today (especially women) act like bots (programmed individuals) seeking attention and an alpha male supplier. to be honest, this construct is design in this way with all this genetic manipulation. that’s why there are so many social paths nowadays from men like MGTOW, “red pill guys” etc. I think most of these people are heavly emocional wounded. In addition, the “dating relationship coaches ” encourages them not to expose their emotions to women. Despite all the knowledge I have gained from you two and others, I think that strong patriarchal regime in the family (with man as leader and women as follower) is the best functioning family. Again, because of this construct. In addiciton we see inversion of gendes today, where males act feminine and female masculine. If our soul is androgynous in nature, this puts addicional confusion in me.

    1. Good comment, Reprobus! The traditional relationship between man and woman is deeply rooted in our genes ever since divided the sexes, so it’s no mystery that things are like they are, and we are all put in a box where we are supposed to be either females and feminine or male and masculine. Because of our androgynous origins, we are both masculine and feminine (soul-wise), regardless whether we’re males or females. In this Construct, the masculine energy is super-imposed upon us because of the Overlords being patriarchs and despising the matriarchy. The result is that both sexes have their feminine and masculine energies distorted and superimposed or suppressed.

      The way we’re programmed, a traditional relationship was “worked” over the millennia, but it creates separation, not unity. Thus, we have the slogan, “men and women are from different planets” or “women are from Venus and men are from Mars.” They don’t understand each other because they suppress essential parts of themselves. In order to regain unity, we would need to break the programming, which of course is a choice, and not always an easy thing to do. Personally, it feels like a part of my journey to do that in any area I can think of, and I think that if we do, we will become much more loving, compassionate, and empathetic toward each other as a soul group while still here on Earth It might even help some extra people to wake up.

  3. I loath these role playing games. They feel so unauthentic. I want to be androgynous again. I like to write sing and dance, i also love playing basketball, shoving dudes to the ground and talking shit. We should display traits of both sexes, that feels mote natural to me.

    I’m reminded of a myth of the dogon tribe in Africa. They claimed their race at one time was androgynous until a snake man separated the people into two caves and they came out male and female. No nommos no leave us alone! !!

    An item not discussed in your article was the energetic roleplay that sex has upon the two people engaging in the activity. A sort of synthesis occurs as the two individuals start to behave as though they were one sharing the same thoughts opinions and mannerisms you can see this in any couple who has been in a relationship for a while. This is why it is so so very important that you show caution with whomever you’re going to have sex with. Having sex with a narc will almost certainly change your behavior for the worse as the individual will start to behave more like the narc they are having sex with.

    1. Regarding the last paragraph. I completely agree (and there will most probably be an article or a video on that in the near future). The sexual energy is the most powerful energy we have here, and it can be used for GREAT benefits, or it can be used to create quite catastrophic results (as with a narc, like you said). Not only your sexlife might be damaged, but it branches out into other aspects of life and creation as well. The OVerlords knew what they were doing when they divided us as male and female.

  4. Wes, your words finally are confirmation of the path I’m on! No need of separating the feminine from the male energies. For me, as a male, it feels completely true that in essence we all are of feminine nature and that the masculine just is an slightly other aspect of it, but deliberately and forcedly divided by some powers out there, you call’em EN-KI and overlords, to control us. Being divided that way don’t match our true nature or soul-imprint with which we are nevertheless born into this lifetime/lifeline. despite all that artificial reincarnation circuits (and artificial soul overlays). Deep within me I feel that, within this lifetime, I can be able to live out my true nature and true soul-imprint while not being bothered any more by the overlords forces. Finally I might probably be able to leave this Matrix/Patrix to wherever it leads.
    Thanks Wes for your immeasurable work you’ve done and you are still doing!

  5. “I was told that in Orion they have genders, and the female is the creator of ideas, and the male executes them.”

    Good grief charlie brown. At least orion ideas have a plan behind them. Otherwise I’m reminded of the rebellious Conquistador Cortez and his famous last line to his Superior the spanish governor of Cuba as he sailed away on his ship for the Aztec empire In an Act of insubordination.

    ” Goodbye my foolish friend, ” Cortez called out. ” some ideas have to be acted upon and not thought about. ” Yikes! !!

    – as we know this venture did not turn out well for all involved.

    The wpp speaks of old wars involving the sexes, even in the khaa. Might the androgynous creation of The namluu by the queen have been not only an attempt to make better Creator goddess’s; but also squash the old paradigm of the futile and feuding sexes of star-races like the syrians?

    Good, now i can dislike with equal disdain both men and women, 😂 lol. Hurrah for androgynous beings being the future of the khaa!! !

  6. Such valuable information that explains so many sad experiences in my past till today. Unfortunatelly I didn’t know this insights before. But it is never too late to learn more about it. Now I understand why some of my few partners didn’t realy like intimacy. Thank you Wes. Damian

  7. Beautiful article Wes, you are so wise, I appreciate your words of wisdom so much. Seems to always show in a timely manner. Always look forward to reading and listening.

  8. Wes Penre. I’ve read so much of your work I feel I know you as a good friend. Too little share their thoughts and feelings these days and while I don’t follow you blindly I’m proud to call you an educator. Thank you

  9. Thank you for this article Wes, my compliments for your ability to write down this very complex matter regarding/concerning our global soiety as a whole. Respect 2U.

Leave a Reply